Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts

This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

A Second Pair of Eyes

Do me a favor. If you haven't already, ask your boyfriend or husband how old they were when they first laid eyes on some kind of
are learning about computer science as part of their general curriculum. They do not necessarily know a world without cyberspace
or hard drives. It goes without saying that the average age of exposure to hardcore pornography - and I mean HARD CORE - is now
age ELEVEN. It is very common for a wife to report their husband first began to regularly use porn in his early teens.

Chances are that when your child needs email for school, they will also want to use that email for keeping in touch with their
friends. IMing, chat rooms and social networking sites - such as MySpace and Facebook - are equally popular with kids as they use
the computer for homework or recreation. You as a parent can put some more strict rules into force that dictate just how the
computer is to be used. There is no magical age when a child is all of a sudden able to be held accountable for what they do and
how they respond to everything that they do online. There are definitely emails that will be sent, spam if you will, that will be
disguised quite cleverly as something harmless. If your child is not able to follow simple rules such as agreeing never to open an
email unless you know the sender, it will be difficult to be confident that they are not being negatively influenced by
material that you as a parent do not approve of.

Also keep in mind that kids can be cruel. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for even a school sponsored email account to be the
method of distributing gossip, bullying and even delivering threats. More and more children are participating in cyberbullying.
Hiding behind their modems, children feel less inhibited about writing things that they know they should never say in person. Many
young people have been both psychologically and physically injured because of an email that was forwarded to
all of their classmates.

Many mothers feel they are able to monitor their children's online activity by themselves. They have the computer in a family room
where they can view email and IM content. They limit the amount of time each child spends online. Those are steps in the right
direction for sure. But you know in your heart that it is difficult for you to be everywhere at once. You once thought you knew
what your husband was doing online but you were wrong. Dead wrong.

Did you know that children are able to log onto their email accounts at schools and libraries? Young adolescents are the most
vulnerable age group. They are exploring their sexuality, moving away from parental control, and looking for new relationships
outside the family. Under the guise of anonymity, they are more likely to take risks online without fully
understanding the possible implications.

You are probably hearing a lot about 'sexting' in the media. Teens will take nude or semi-nude photos of themselves and send the
pictures to others either using cell phones or the Internet. A recent survey showed that 1 out of 5 teens have engaged in this
behavior - both boys and girls - despite most parents believing their child would never do this. If made known to the authorities,
charges of creating and distributing child pornography can result. Yikes.

PAH's advice? As you are getting ready for back to school, talk to your kids about sexual predators and potential online dangers and
then invest in a second pair of eyes. You may think you have it under control but you have been wrong before.
Don't say we didn't warn you.