Internet Pornography Addicts
Excuses Excuses
Part 2
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This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

The Permission Slip

With this type of behavior, he mentally writes out a permission slip before and
after indulging in porn.  He rationalizes his actions before acting out, and then
justifies his actions after acting act.

  • I'm not touching these women so it's not really cheating
  • Men are hard-wired to do this
  • I'm just looking at pictures; it's not hurting anyone

Why is this flawed?
He does not believe he is doing anything wrong or abnormal however, he
wouldn't be going through the actions of rationalizing and justifying if he didn't
feel guilty and ashamed on some level.

The Boxer

If things are starting to get a little tough at home, the Boxer will manipulate facts and conversation in order to maintain some level of power
and control. He believes he has the right to control his environment in order to secret his addiction. He may also believe he has the right to
control you and how you react to his addiction.

  • Things are tough for me right now so deal with it
  • He will put passwords on his PC, detect and eliminate porn filters, accountability software and keyloggers

Why is this flawed?
His boisterous reactions take the focus off his porn addiction. He should not have the right to control how you react to his addiction or the
level of monitoring you may need to feel safe in your home. He could also get some type of enjoyment from manipulating you into letting
him keep thing as they are.

The Assumer


The Assumer thinks he knows your stance on porn but is mistaken.

  • I didn't think you minded me watching porn
  • All guys masturbate to porn; I thought you knew I was
    doing it too

Why is this flawed?
He helps justify his behavior by sticking with his faulty conclusions. He
doesn't bring up the topic because he is avoiding confrontation.

The Magician

The Magician has you looking at one thing to distract you from what is really going on. He creates confusion in order to avoid responsibility
and consequences. The Magician may lie or make things up, or omit important facts. He could also lead you to believe that he sees
the world the way that you do when in reality he does not.

  • It must be a computer virus that downloaded this porn (or neighbor, friend, relative, child, etc.)
  • I think of you when I surf for porn
  • Some random girl got my email address and is starting to chat with me
(but he omits that he contacted her first and gave her his email address)
  • I think surfing for porn is demeaning to women and a waste of time for men
(but then he logs on regularly anyway)

Why is this flawed?
He lies and manipulates in an attempt to gain control of an out-of-control situation.