PornAddictHubby.com
Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts
Excuses Excuses
Part 2
Copyright 2007-2008.  Porn Addict Hubby. All rights reserved.
This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.
The Permission Slip

With this type of behavior, he mentally writes
out a permission slip before and after indulging
in porn.  He rationalizes his actions before
acting out, and then justifies his actions after
acting act.

  • I'm not touching these women so it's
    not really cheating
  • Men are hard-wired to do this
  • I'm just looking at pictures; it's not
    hurting anyone

Why is this flawed?
He does not believe he is doing anything wrong
or abnormal however, he wouldn't be going
through the actions of rationalizing and
justifying if he didn't feel guilty and ashamed on
some level.
The Boxer

If things are starting to get a little tough at home,
the Boxer will manipulate facts and conversation in
order to maintain some level of power and control.
He believes he has the right to control his
environment in order to secret his addiction. He
may also believe he has the right to control you
and how you react to his addiction.

  • Things are tough for me right now so
    deal with it
  • He will put passwords on his PC, detect
    and eliminate porn filters,
    accountability software and keyloggers

Why is this flawed?
His boisterous reactions take the focus off his porn
addiction. He should not have the right to control
how you react to his addiction or the level of
monitoring you may need to feel safe in your
home. He could also get some type of enjoyment
from manipulating you into letting him keep thing
as they are.
The Assumer

The Assumer thinks he knows your stance on porn but is mistaken.
He doesn't take the time to check with you and acts as if his
assumptions are true and valid.

  • I didn't think you minded me watching porn
  • All guys masturbate to porn; I thought you knew I
    was doing it too

Why is this flawed?
He helps justify his behavior by sticking with his faulty
conclusions. He doesn't bring up the topic because he is avoiding
confrontation.




The Magician

The Magician has you looking at one thing to distract you from
what is really going on. He creates confusion in order to avoid
responsibility and consequences. The Magician may lie or make
things up, or omit important facts. He could also lead you to
believe that he sees the world the way that you do when in
reality he does not.

  • It must be a computer virus that downloaded this
    porn (or neighbor, friend, relative, child, etc.)
  • I think of you when I surf for porn
  • Some random girl got my email address and is
    starting to chat with me
(but he omits that he contacted her first and gave her his
email address)
  • I think surfing for porn is demeaning to women and a
    waste of time for men
(but then he logs on regularly anyway)

Why is this flawed?
He lies and manipulates in an attempt to gain control of an out-of-
control situation.