Each counselor or 12-step program will have their own version of this answer. Basically, there
needs to be some period of time for the user to become desensitized ie. 30 or 60 days. During
this period, they get nothing from you and obviously nothing from the Internet. Then
boundaries are clearly set so they understand what it is they are to be held accountable for. No
more cruising on the Internet, no sexual activity outside of the committed relationship, etc.
There are three main reasons why guys turn to pornography: to help them masturbate, to see a
sexual fantasy played out, and to avoid intimacy in a relationship. The masturbation aid is a
no-brainer and widely understood. Sometimes a guy daydreams of a certain sexual act that isn't
being met in his current relationship. Say he wants his sexual partner to swallow during oral
sex and his wife or girlfriend has zero interest in doing that. He may enjoy being with his
significant other and wants to stay in his relationship. He then turns to porn to fill an unmet
need. Porn can hinder intimacy when a guy is too reserved to tell his partner what he we
would like to try. He may be afraid of rejection or judgement from his partner if he were to
disclose his daydreams. He saves the fantasy for online surfing instead.
What you are feeling is perfectly normal. PAH calls it the Porn Healing Paradox.
Advertisers are not chosen by us but are randomly selected by Google. We have the ability to
ban ads, and frankly this one ad is on the fence for us. We have heard both positive and
negative comments from our site visitors. At first glance the ad seems to not fit within the
context of the site. However on closer inspection it is helpful to the cause:
"Did you know that even when you remove items from the recycle bin, the data is not in fact
erased? These files are stored in the system recycle bin or your email application deleted items
folder. Even if you choose to permanently delete the items they remain in your hard drives
storage, and can be recovered!"
Many men assure their wives that they have deleted porn images but may in fact have hundreds
(if not thousands) in hidden files. You may be able to track their current surfing activity with
porn filters and accountability programs such as Covenant Eyes, but they would still have access
to their cataloged favorites. Porn filters and accountability programs are only effective if a PC is
squeaky clean. When used proactively, and in conjunction with filters and/or accountability
programs, this program can be helpful. Obviously, if used without filters or accountability
programs to hide online activity it can be negative. We monitor the Google ads regularly and
will ban any that are offensive or detrimental.
Did PAH help you today? You can make a donation to our site!
PAH is online providing resources, information and support to wives and girlfriends of Internet
porn addicts. If you'd like to say "thank you" for helping you find a bit of sanity in the crazy
situation you find yourself in, we accept donations. No amount is too small and all are
appreciated.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Copyright 2007-2008. Porn Addict Hubby. All rights reserved.
| PornAddictHubby.com |
| Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of Internet Pornography Addicts |
This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.
Additional Pornography Addiction Resources
Porn Addiction Frequent Q & A
Q: Alcoholics get clean and never touch alcohol again. How does a pornography
addict get clean? Never have sex again?
Q: What motivates guys to use porn?
Q: My husband knows he has a problem with watching too much Internet porn and is
making changes and getting help. I should feel good about all of this but I find myself
feeling worse. Why?
Q: What is with the "Remove All Traces of Porn From Your PC" Google Ad on your
site? How is this helpful to wives who are trying to track what their husbands are
doing online?
Q: Why all the Donate buttons?
