Hopefully your husband or significant other has recognized their problem with porn
and are willing to take the steps needed to get healthy. Respect his need for privacy as
well as yours. There is a great deal of shame and secrecy with a sexual addiction.
There is a social stigma in our society that is hard to overcome. Family members and
close friends may not be your best advocates.

First, make a commitment to change. If you continue to do what you did yesterday,
you will get yesterday's results.

Decide together how they will get help and support.

  • PAH is here for him! Have the user read this site, especially porn addiction from
    a man's perspective.

  • Read more about porn addiction and the healing process through our
    recommended reading list. All books can be ordered confidentially through
    Amazon.com.

  • If you belong to a church, consider seeking assistance and support there. There
    are more couples facing this epidemic than you realize.

  • Depending on the background of your relationship, you may want to consider
    speaking with a therapist or joining a 12-step program.  This could be individual
    therapy or couples therapy. You can find one through the health care providers
    directory provided by your insurance company or through online or yellow page
    directories.
Copyright 2007-2009.  Porn Addict Hubby. All rights reserved.
Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts
This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.
No matter which course of support and healing he chooses, please know that:

  • This addiction wasn't created overnight and won't be solved in a short time
    either.

  • He may have withdrawal symptoms: irritability, anxiety, headaches.


  • Boundaries will need to be set, and consequences clearly laid out for violating
    those boundaries.  Be prepared to walk the talk.

Seeking Help and Counseling For Internet Sexual Addiction


One Final Thought. Consider This.

Addicts of any kind live in a "verbal reality." This means if they say it, it is true and if they say it passionately enough
even they believe it is really true. Men who have an addiction to porn live in a verbal reality.
A sex addict believes what he is saying while he is saying it.

Your most helpful tool in dealing with verbal reality is looking at his measurable behavior. He says, "I can quit" but logs on again.
The behavior is always the truth.
He says he wants to change, but attends no 12-step meetings and makes no calls to counselors or therapists,
and so his behavior is the truth. Don't be fooled by verbal reality and don't blame him if you buy what he says to you.
In the past, your own desire to believe the best and not implement measurable behaviors has set up a system
that you both are now familiar with. The system is: he does what he wants, Says: "I love you" or "I'll change,"
You believe him, nothing changes and then you get to repeat this cycle again.

The way to stop this cycle is to ask what recovery behaviors he is committed to and where he is going to check off
if he did them or not. Addicts themselves believe their own verbal reality so YOU can't if the
both of you are going to get on a path towards health.