Porn Addict Hubby - Ask The Expert on Porn Addiction

Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts

This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Featured Expert - Meg Wilson

Meg Wilson is a regular speaker to women's groups, Bible studies, and
conferences. Five years ago she founded the Healing Hearts Ministry to
offer help and hope to women whose husbands are caught in the web of
sexual addiction.

PAH: Your husband's sexual addiction was brought to your attention by his disclosure of it to you. Do you feel it would have taken you longer to heal had
you discovered it?
Meg: There is a definite correlation because men who confess are typically ready to get help. Men who are caught may not be. The good news is that our
ability to get healthy is not dependant upon what our husband is or isn't doing. The goal must be health this will change the way we respond to what is
happening which in turn changes everything.

PAH: What advice can you give women who are dealing with a partner who is not ready to admit they have a problem with porn?
Meg: Focus on your healing process. Most of us didn't end up with an addict by accident. This is our chance to take a look at our own co-dependant
behaviors. We are in an unhealthy dance and even if my husband doesn't want to change his steps, I can still change mine. Yes, there will be some stepping
on toes if you are making healthy changes, but hang in there it is worth it.

PAH: What steps can women take in order to improve their self-esteem and self image damaged by their partner's addiction?
Meg: Sexual addiction (SA) is not about sex, beauty, or attractiveness. When you hear the lies, you must stamp them out with the truth. You must know
how amazing and beautiful you are. Put away the narrow standard of beauty the world throws at us. Know there is no one else like you! When I looked in
the mirror and felt, fat, ugly, or frumpy, I would look away and repeat the truth "I am wonderfully made." and then walk away choosing to believe it even
when my feelings weren't on board. Our feelings will be fickle so believe the truth.

PAH: Should a couple seek help if they find themselves in this situation, and if so, where can they turn for help?
Meg: Absolutely. This issue is complex with many layers, so to have expert advice can really help cut through the tangles. The first step in any 12-step
program is to acknowledge a higher power, so pray for God to guide you to the right place. If finances are a problem look for a church with a group or a
counseling center that understands SA that has a sliding scale, or S-ANON group. You need support. There are also several great online resources. Go to
www.hopeafterbetrayal.com for more resources.

PAH: Some women feel nervous about entering a support group for spouses as they fear they will be judged or pushed in a direction they may not be
comfortable with. What benefits have you seen in groups that you have led?
Meg: I won't lie, not all support groups are equal, so trust your gut. If you feel there is an agenda then it might not be the right place. It can be a scary first
step, so be careful to sift the fears from the truth. A healthy group can make all the difference. To be able to process out loud with others in a safe
environment can spur the healing process. Synergy occurs when women on similar journeys come together and share their burdens. It is a risk worth taking.

PAH: What things must happen in order for women to see their marriages restored after sexual betrayal?
Meg: I want to be clear, not all marriages are restored, because it takes both parties choosing health. The best news is every woman who wants to become
healthy can. For a marriage to be restored both parties must be 100% committed to their own healing process. My husband and I both have our own library
of self-help books and number of counseling hours logged. We are learning a new way of life—that new dance. My husband and I are still in process learning
about communication issues and parenting. This growing together is what being committed to each other means. However, if my husband's choice had been
different, I would still be on the path to health.

                                                                  Meg Wilson writes from the heart of her own experience with
                                                                     her husband's sexual addiction. From a Biblical perspective,
                                                                       she finds strength and solace from discovery to recovery.
                                                                Hope After Betrayal provides a path and a sense of sisterhood for
                                                                 other women who find themselves facing porn addiction in their
                                                                        own homes. PAH highly recommends Hope After Betrayal.
                                                                                It is available confidentially at Amazon.com.