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Detachment With Love

How is detachment a control issue?

Detachment is a control issue because:

* It is a way of de-powering the external "locus of control" issues in your life and a way to strengthen your internal
"locus of control."

* If you are not able to detach emotionally or physically from a person, place or thing, then you are either
profoundly under its control or it is under your control.

* The ability to "keep distance" emotionally or physically requires self-control and the inability to do so is a sign
that you are "out of control."

* If you are not able to detach from another person, place or thing, you might be powerless over this behavior
which is beyond your personal control.

* You might feel intimidated or coerced to stay deeply attached with someone for fear of great harm to yourself or
that person if you don't remain so deeply involved.

* You might be an addicted caretaker, fixer or rescuer who cannot let go of a person, place or thing you believe
cannot care for itself.

* You might be so manipulated by another's con, "helplessness," overdependency or "hooks" that you cannot leave
them to solve their own problems.

* If you do not detach from people, places or things, you could be so busy trying to "control" them that you
completely divert your attention from yourself and your own needs.

* By being "selfless" and "centered" on other people, you are really a controller trying to fix them to meet the
image of your ideal for them.

* Although you will still have feelings for those persons, places and things from which you have become detached,
you will have given them the freedom to become what they will be on their own merit, power, control and
responsibility.

* It allows every person, place or thing with which you become involved to feel the sense of personal responsibility
to become a unique, independent and autonomous being with no fear of retribution or rebuke if they don't please
you by what they become.

What irrational thinking leads to an inability to detach?