Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts

This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

When you first found out about your husband or boyfriend's porn addiction, your internal compass needle
was spinning wildly. It is a guide to get your needle pointing towards North again. It is not a substitution for
professional counseling.

Where were you when the freight train moment hit you? When you realized all that you believed in is not as
it really is? What is more hurtful – the lies and deception or the virtual cheating? Maybe you knew about
your husband or boyfriend’s problem and turned a blind eye to it until you just knew you had to face
reality. Maybe you just stumbled upon his dirty little secret. You are angry beyond belief. You are in this
situation having done nothing to deserve so much pain. And you feel at a loss as there is nothing you can do.
All of the inappropriate actions have been on his side.
So now what?

Albeit a bit kitschy, the next steps are ABCDEFG. This process will work for most women in most cases –
especially if your significant other is willing to seek help towards recovery.

Accountability

You may have had conversations and promises from your husband or boyfriend but odds are
you haven't taken advantage of accountability software that can help motivate him to stay
clean and be honest. In order for recovery to happen, he must make a conscious choice each
and every time he sits at the computer to not look at porn sites. He will know there is no
getting around a program that will report to you every site visited and every online activity.
.
Porn addiction thrives in the environment of secrecy and anonymity of the Internet. Covenant
Eyes removes both. Covenant Eyes is the most effective accountability software available.
Affordable ($7.99/month) and fool-proof, Covenant Eyes tracks every Internet site visited and
sends a weekly report to you as your husband or boyfriend's accountability partner.

Once Covenant Eyes software is installed on every computer and laptop in the home, it
monitors and records all web activity and scores all sites according to maturity of content.
This information is then presented in a customizable report which is emailed to you as the
Accountability Partner. You may choose how often you receive the report by email (every 3
days, 7 days, etc.). Because scoring is provided, partners and users can easily identify mature
web addresses, searches, links and more. They also show trends for websites viewed and bar
charts that show the times of day and night when the Internet is used. While other
accountability and filter programs are easily circumvented, Covenant Eyes is simply the
strongest, most frequently updated accountability service available.

If you speak with him about how important it is for you to have a porn-free home and the
consequences he will face should he decide to continue acting-out, he will be in a position to
begin exercising control and making better choices. Many addicts will eliminate or seriously
slow down their surfing habits when they know every site they log onto is reported to their
angry wife or girlfriend.
Try it today with the above link and the first thirty days are free!

Boundaries

Simply stated, boundaries define who we are and what we stand for: our values, beliefs, standards.
Boundaries protect you from undesirable behavior; they also create a base for introducing behaviors you want in your life.
If you don't set boundaries you are giving your husband or boyfriend free license to do whatever they want.

The first step in setting effective boundaries is to be still and ask yourself what you want and need to have a happy, secure and fulfilling
relationship. This is not a conversation about him. Setting boundaries is about you and how you expect to be valued and treated in a
relationship. Let him know you have installed software. Let him know what kind of daily life you want to get back towards. Let him know
you miss the confident man he used to be full of life with varied interests. Let him know you expect truthfulness and honest attempts
towards a porn-free home. If he slips (and he most likely will), there will be consequences. Consequences don't have to be an all or nothing
scenario like stop or I'll split with you. That outcome may actually be more comforting for him as he doesn't have to face his issues. Try
boundaries along the lines of if you continue to have surf sessions until 2 AM, I will book a couple's counseling session for us or make an
appointment with a minister to talk about your addiction.

Steps C DEFG

What is the Porn Addict Hubby Compass Plan?