Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of Internet Pornography Addicts

The Porn Healing Paradox





 
He Recognizes His Problem with Porn and Is Getting Better So Why Do I Feel Worse?

                       He                                                                           She                               
Feels a new level of honesty and truthfulness                         Feels the level of his disloyalty and deceit more intensely
Has a new level of appreciation for the marriage bond           Is saddened to realize how little the marriage has meant to him
Finally has the accountability he was looking for                    Senses the shame and secrecy of being married to an addict
Loves her more than he ever has before                                 Has never felt less loved,valued or secure     
                 
                  Bottom Line: He wants congratulations for something that makes you want to throw up.

The emotions listed above are true and valid for both the man and woman yet are polar opposite. Why does this happen?
He has been holding these feelings for a long time and is very familiar with them. It is a welcome relief for him to disclose
his secrets and come clean.   Sharing his burden with you means you now get to grieve over the loss of the relationship as
you knew it to be. You get to feel some level of the shame he felt. You also have a finely tuned sense of distrust towards
all of his actions.  Welcome to the temporary insanity that healing from a porn addiction brings to a couple.

Be aware of the porn healing paradox as both of you move forward. Share this with him so he understands and appreciates
your viewpoint as both of you work on becoming whole again. He needs to continue to earn your trust. And you need to   
continue to work on healing yourself and becoming open to trust again.



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